Mother's

Mother holding me at 2 weeks old

It's not Mother's Day yet. It's not even my Mother's birthday. But lately I've been missing my Mother a lot. She died almost 4.5 years ago so why the profound loss as though it was 4.5 minutes ago?

Lots of reasons. One of my goals has been to clear more of the clutter from my house. It was depriving me of much needed space for my #1 priority--my grandson's; it was producing lots of guilt for not having done it; and it was just always hanging over me. So in the process of going through mine and my parent's stuff, I had lots of wonderful memories come flooding back.

Amongst my great finds, stuck in a random book, I found a poem my Mother had written after the death of her Mother. She titled it simply:

Mama

Grief is like a wave
that washes over you.
It strangles and it crushes
and leaves you feeling blue.

You pick yourself up
and struggle on, wondering all the while
will the ache and emptiness you feel
ever be totally gone?

When will the memories be dear ones?
To cherish for as long as you live
When you can think with a smile or a chuckle
for the good things her life still gives.

I'm also missing Mother's support. I desperately need to have a healthier life style and loose weight (more on that in a future post). As I was brainstorming yesterday with a friend, how I was successful in doing this in the past, I realized that my Mother was a huge factor. I was using the Weight Watcher program and every time I weighed in, I would report back to Mother and no matter what the report she praised my efforts. And, everytime she saw me, which was often, she would declare I looked "thinner every time I see you." I lost 40 lbs. in 1999, 25 in time for my 50th birthday and she insisted on taking me out to buy me a new "birthday suit" to show off my successful weight loss.

A dear friend, Imogene, from my church died suddenly last week from a brain aneurism. I visited with her daughter, Jean, for a long time last night at the funeral home. This afternoon is the funeral. Jean and her Mother were very close too so I felt her pain and relived mine.

The same friend I was brain storming about weight loss with yesterday, is remembering her Mother's birthday today, having lost her a year ago. Another friend is finding treasures of her Mother as she clears out her house in the process of moving. Another friend is caring for her Mother, who has Alzheimer's, in her home while having her own health issues. Yet another friend has both parents on Hospice, has her own major health issues, and yet is treasuring each day with them. On and on the list goes.

Our Mother's are God's gift to us. Through them we learn strength in the face of crisis; unconditional love when we make mistakes; and if we're lucky, the joy of a very special friendship. Thank you God for the precious gift of my Mother.

Getting to know Alice

I first got to know my friend Alice on the Alzheimer's message board back in 2005 when we were both caring for a parent with Alzheimer's. We bonded immediately, primarily because we share a strong faith that no matter what is going on in our lives, God is by our side, guiding and directing; supporting us; and sending His earthly angels to care for us.

Secondly we are both cancer survivors from multiple occasions so we spoke the same language. So, in spite of life's challenges and heartaches (both of us having since lost our parents), we knew that our faith would get us through the current crisis.

Alice had to place her dear, sweet Mama in a nursing home when she went through chemo in 2005 and just didn't have the physical strength to care for her. It was during that time that we began to take our relationship a step closer with phone calls and emails. I told her I would set my cell phone alarm to play Amazing Grace at noon, my time, everyday and that I would stop and pray for her at that time. She found great comfort in that knowledge and it brought us even closer together.


Last year, spring of 2008, I decided it was past time for Alice and I to meet in person so I included a day-long visit with her in my trip to Texas. This picture was taken at the Wildseed Farms, where we could enjoy our mutual love of flowers and butterflies! We had a grand day and promised to keep in touch, which we did.

After much arm twisting and insistance, Alice came to visit. I had continued to pray for her daily and by now I had introduced my grandson to the idea that when Nana's phone played that certain song, we would stop whatever we were doing and pray for Alice. Here's a picture Alice took while she was visiting of just such an occassion. We had walked down to the nearby creek and while Colin threw stones in the creek, Alice marveled at the fall colors.

We had a great time during her visit. We did some sightseeing and playing with grandchildren. We enjoyed long talks and she grew to love and be loved by my church family. Here she is in the midst of the Bishop's Garden at the Washington National Cathedral, one of our favorite places.

Now Alice has an uphill fight against cancer again. After consultation at M.D. Anderson, it has been decided that she will begin chemo, again, on Tues., March 24, to try and shrink her numerous tumors. After each round, she will be reevaluated at M.D. Anderson with the anticipation of surgery this summer.

Please join me in praying for Alice, a woman of strong faith, a celebrator of life, a wonderful friend and a very special lady.

Advisory council

A friend of mine recently had a dilemma. Decisions are frequently difficult, especially when you live alone and have no one to brainstorm with. So instead of fretting about it she emailed her "advisory council" as I have nicknamed us. There are 5 of us (including her) from around the country so she knew she could get a variety of suggestions.

She presented the background, the dilemma and asked our advice. Within 24 hrs. she heard from all of us, who, not surprisingly, pretty much gave her the same advice but in different words, and from that she gained much--peace as to her decision; support; and hopefully a little less feeling alone.

But, on her part it took courage to be vulnerable and trust in us to be there for her and accept whatever decision she made.

God did not stop with the creation of Adam. He went on to create Eve and from there we have the human race. Seems pretty clear to me that He intends us to create all sorts of "advisory councils." I know I couldn't function without mine and I'm so glad my friend realized the value of hers.

Snowy day

We did indeed get a beautiful snowfall. To some, it was a very modest snow, but to my TX and CA friends, it was significant.

It snowed all night and a bit today, creating a fairy land all around me. As for me, I stayed safe, sound and warm inside my house, enjoying the magnificence of God's creation and in the peace and quiet of the day.

The Washington, DC area is expecting significant snowfall tonight. That means grocery stores are crowded and hardware stores are full of last minute shovel and salt shoppers.

I on the other hand am looking forward to it. Having grown up in this area, I still remember the excitement of a snow day off from school. They would never make the school closing announcement the night before. I had to set my alarm for 0-dark-thirty and wait in eager anticipation for the list to be read.

But it was worth it when I finally heard "Arlington County public schools will be closed today." Yippee! Turn the radio off, roll over and enjoy some sweet slumber.

I remember one time during high school (that would be mid-60's) that school was cancelled for a whole week. Daddy, the ever prepared and resourceful Marine, never let snow keep him in. He managed to stock up on hot dogs, chips, drinks, marshmallows and lots of other snacks because my basement was the youth HQ. Kids would walk to my house, plop in front of the fireplace, and then plot our next sledding adventure, only to repeat the process only this time we came back to the best smelling hot dogs and hot chocolate and cookies or brownies, courtesy of Mother, I've ever smelled!

So, I look forward to the world (well, at least my part of the world) standing still for a day, while the snow plows do their job. I will sit by the fire and enjoy the beauty of a fresh fallen snow and reminisce. Then I will get my grand kids over here (they live 3 houses away!!!) and cook hot dogs and drink hot chocolate together.

Oh wait! I don't have any hot dogs!! Gotta go join the crazy shoppers to get my hot dogs!