Mother's

Mother holding me at 2 weeks old

It's not Mother's Day yet. It's not even my Mother's birthday. But lately I've been missing my Mother a lot. She died almost 4.5 years ago so why the profound loss as though it was 4.5 minutes ago?

Lots of reasons. One of my goals has been to clear more of the clutter from my house. It was depriving me of much needed space for my #1 priority--my grandson's; it was producing lots of guilt for not having done it; and it was just always hanging over me. So in the process of going through mine and my parent's stuff, I had lots of wonderful memories come flooding back.

Amongst my great finds, stuck in a random book, I found a poem my Mother had written after the death of her Mother. She titled it simply:

Mama

Grief is like a wave
that washes over you.
It strangles and it crushes
and leaves you feeling blue.

You pick yourself up
and struggle on, wondering all the while
will the ache and emptiness you feel
ever be totally gone?

When will the memories be dear ones?
To cherish for as long as you live
When you can think with a smile or a chuckle
for the good things her life still gives.

I'm also missing Mother's support. I desperately need to have a healthier life style and loose weight (more on that in a future post). As I was brainstorming yesterday with a friend, how I was successful in doing this in the past, I realized that my Mother was a huge factor. I was using the Weight Watcher program and every time I weighed in, I would report back to Mother and no matter what the report she praised my efforts. And, everytime she saw me, which was often, she would declare I looked "thinner every time I see you." I lost 40 lbs. in 1999, 25 in time for my 50th birthday and she insisted on taking me out to buy me a new "birthday suit" to show off my successful weight loss.

A dear friend, Imogene, from my church died suddenly last week from a brain aneurism. I visited with her daughter, Jean, for a long time last night at the funeral home. This afternoon is the funeral. Jean and her Mother were very close too so I felt her pain and relived mine.

The same friend I was brain storming about weight loss with yesterday, is remembering her Mother's birthday today, having lost her a year ago. Another friend is finding treasures of her Mother as she clears out her house in the process of moving. Another friend is caring for her Mother, who has Alzheimer's, in her home while having her own health issues. Yet another friend has both parents on Hospice, has her own major health issues, and yet is treasuring each day with them. On and on the list goes.

Our Mother's are God's gift to us. Through them we learn strength in the face of crisis; unconditional love when we make mistakes; and if we're lucky, the joy of a very special friendship. Thank you God for the precious gift of my Mother.