Happy Birthday Daddy

Today is my Daddy's birthday. He would have been 88 yrs. old. It's been about 2.5 yrs. since he left this earth to join Mother, the love of his life for 56 years. I love this picture of him. He was a Texan through and through. He participated in lots of parades and and served many a plate of bar-b-que with the Odessa Chuck Wagon Gang (http://www.ocwg.org/). I still have that shirt.

Daddy, J.T. Rutherford, was born in Hot Springs, AR in 1921. In his youth, his family moved to Odessa, TX where he grew up. He joined the Marine Corp to fight in WWII, and came home a war hero.

He married Sara Jane Armstrong, my Mother, in 1948 and I was born 9 months and 11 days later. Surprise! At the same time he ran and was elected to the Texas legislature in addition to being state commander of chief of the VFW, along with going to Baylor Law School. He came from poverty and earned everything with hard work. He loved government and believed that the people’s voice needed to be heard. He had no large financial backing but instead won his campaigns by lots of shoe leather and cups of coffee, the old fashioned way.

When I was five, he was elected to the U.S. Congress from his beloved West Texas so we moved to the Washington, DC area. It was a tough transition for the family. We left behind our entire support system and had no money. That meant one car, which Daddy took to the "Hill" everyday, no washing machine or dryer and no money for sitters so that Mother could join Daddy for some of the new and wonderful opportunities. It was very hard times.



But he believed in what he was elected to do and fought hard for his district. He also got to know and become close friends with some of his heros in politics, like Sam Rayburn, long time Speaker of the House from TX, and former Pres. Harry Truman, shown in this picture enjoying a good laugh.



It was in his district of West Texas that the ticket of Kennedy-Johnson made their first official campaign stop, specifically El Paso, TX. Daddy said that the supposed feud between Kennedy and Johnson was a myth and that actually the two greatly respected each other even while disagreeing.

Pres. Kennedy was especially pleased when, as the first Chairman of the National Parks and Services, Daddy shepherded the legislation to create the Cape Cod National Seashore and preserve vasts amount of land for generations to come.


My parents were madly in love all 56 years of their marriage. He was the most generous human being I have ever known, doing many, many good deeds that we didn’t know anything about until I cleaned out his office. He was firm and old-fashioned but a strong man of integrity. He believed in God, his country and his family and was willing to lay down his life for any or all of them.




He adored his two grandchildren, Sara and Charles, and was fortunate to share the first 21 months of his great-grandson's life, Colin, whom he nicknamed “Little Buddy.” He and Colin shared many tender moments. Here they are on Daddy's 84th birthday.

He was a man who was friends with Presidents and custodians and he treated them all the same. I had great respect for the way he lived his life but I was in awe watching him accept the disease of Alzheimer's and relinquish everything he had worked for to me. The trust he placed in me in the last years of his life was a testimony to the strong, enduring relationship we shared.

I know that he is enjoying watching his great-grandsons growing and thriving in my childhood home. I miss you Daddy but I carry you in my heart.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/10/AR2006111001675.html

A day with Nana at the fair

Colin has been wanting to have a "Nana Day" for a while now. That means an overnight without his brother. He loves his brother, Dylan, and is very good with him but it used to be just the two of us for his first 3.5 yrs. and he longed for a return to my undivided attention.

We started Sunday night with popcorn and a movie he had picked out at church. Then a long, loud bath (the bath is next to Dylan's bedroom so normally he has to be quiet) with those little capsules that turn into marvelous shapes in the water. He asked for a lotion massage, which I used to give him as a baby and he doesn't get at home, followed by stories. At last we settle into my bed to go to sleep but he decides he wants to sleep like he sometimes used to do as a baby--on top of me, only now he's over 30 lbs. But go to sleep he did, with me rubbing his back.

I had searched for something special to do today and found just the thing--a local fair. He wore his bright yellow and blue soccer shirt from County Clare Ireland (thank you Lori) and a hat from his greatgranddaddy.

Thank goodness we got there when they opened at 10a because by the time we left at 1:30p it was crowded and hot and humid. Colin rode everything he qualified for and together we rode the ferris wheel. Of course we had to have more popcorn, this time caramel. He threw darts at balloons and the guy felt sorry for him missing so he got to pick out a surprise--a black spiderman, which I'm sure he will be sleeping with tonight.

Here he is riding the merry-go-round, holding his newly won spiderman close.

He's driving very aggressively here. I hope that's not a sign of the future!

The last thing to do was to climb through an obstacle course and end up getting to slide down a long slide!

What a fun day! Can you tell I love being a Nana?

My Bampa's birthday

My Bampa and me

I have been thinking a lot about my Bampa lately and today is his birthday, May 17, 1894. He was born, Horace Burleson Armstrong, in Buda, TX, a still small town just south of Austin. His mother died when he was 2 yrs. old and his father remarried a woman who hated children. He would talk about how when he was still very little and have accidents in his bed, she would wrap him up in that sheet and beat him. [Long before child protective services.]

So, at the young age of 12, he left home for the big, bustling city of San Antonio where he was able to find work of all sorts. One of his favorite jobs was teaching people how to drive those new fandangled automobiles, after self-teaching himself. By the age of 14, he had saved up enough money to bring his two sisters to come live with him in a boarding house.

After serving in WWI, he met and married my grandmother ( by selling her Daddy a car), who came from a large German family in Karnes City, 54 south of San Antonio. Her Daddy, Bumbo, owned a large amount of land and gave each of his children large parcels to farm. For awhile Bampa moved the family to Tampico, Mexico where he worked for Gulf Oil Co., but my Grandmother was so homesick for her family that they returned to the farm.

He became a dairy farmer, getting up in the dark of night to deliver milk throughout the countryside. Mother remembers that he always had half-pint bottles for the small Mexican children who would follow the truck begging for milk.

During WWII, he served on the local selective service board, an unpopular task. It was this board that decided who in the community would be signed up to go to war. On one particular occasion, he and the board tapped a particular young man from a Mexican family. The family fought it, as they said they needed him home to help provide for the family but the board stood firm. After several nights of being awakened by gun shots at his home, Bampa saddled up, rode over to the family's house, with his gun loaded and ready and announced, "If it's killing you're after, let's get to it but leave my family alone!" The family backed down and there were no more pot shots at the house.

I spent all my summers with my grandparents. I loved it. One of my favorite memories is when I was about 7 or 8 yrs. Bampa woke me up about 5a, boosted me up on top of a fresh-picked wagon load of cotton, with a red straw hat perched on my head, and we rode into town to the cotton gin with me feeling like I was on top of the world. We were on top of my world!

He also taught me to play checkers and then bragged to everyone that I beat him most of the time, even though he wasn't letting me win. And I loved riding with him in his red pickup. We would go into town and he'd buy me a coke, you know one of those little mini-bottles. He got such a kick out of the fact that as a toddler I knew the right way to drink out of a bottle, top lip down instead of wrapped around the opening. But then he thought just about anything I did was something special.

Now we've come full circle and I'm a Nana and at least for a little while longer, my grandboys think just about anything I do is special. ;-}

Last year, I visited Karnes City for the first time in many, many years as there is no family living there anymore. Here I am, standing in the middle of MY cornfield, land I inherited from my parents, which belonged to Bampa. I am so proud to carry on the tradition of owning farm land in TX.

And I visited the home place, that I thought was so enormous as a child but is actually a very small stone house. It was built in the same spot where a truly large family compound of a home existed before it burned to the ground in 1936. And I looked quietly a the large oak tree just outside the front door, facing the main highway, where my grandfather, at the young age of 65, put a gun to his head in a place where he would be sure to be found.

I visited my grandparents graves, a deserted graveyard that has sadly been neglected because there are no more family members left to care for it. I tenderly pulled away the worst of the weeds from their graves.

He suffered from depression, severe diabetes and bouts of drinking (which I never, ever saw) and after we had all been there for a visit, he got up one morning, had breakfast with my grandmother's sister and husband, went to town for a haircut, arranged all of his business papers neatly on the desk and took his life. What's really strange, is that I vividly remember the last time I waved goodbye to him and feeling so sad. I was only 10 yrs. old, sitting on his bed, in front of a window, waving as his red pick up drove out of sight.

The worm family

Gardening with a 4-yr. old requires a whole new way of looking at life in general. The small things are sometimes the most important.

We've had rain for several weeks almost non-stop so we are slow to begin our planting. We're planting a family/neighbor garden in the plot that my Daddy grew the very best tomatoes I've ever tasted, along with squash, cukes, peppers and whatever else struck his fancy. The garden has been badly neglected since he died in 2006 but this year I decided it was time to clear it out and use it.

There are 4 raised beds, approximately 3'x25' so there's lots of room for experimenting. The whole family is learning together and Colin has been so excited about planting the seeds that Nana bought. He's been carrying around the bag for days asking when we are going to plant.

Today it finally cleared off and Colin and I began. First we got all of our plants out to the garden and then our tools. I found a hole-digger (have no idea the correct term) amongst Daddy's tools and a spade and we started digging holes. Immediately Colin spotted a worm (a good sign for well airated soil).

"Take a picture of it Nana. It's willy coot." I showed him the picture. "No, Nana, I can't see it. Take a bigger picture."

Ok, Colin, now it's time to plant some of our plants. "No, Nana, we have to make a family of worms! We need a Mommy, Daddy, Colin and Dylan." I figured 3 more worms would be quick and easy to satisfy him. So we gathered our now 4 worms in a little puddle of water.

Now, Colin, let's plant our plants. "No, Nana, we have to finish our family." We have Colin, everyone is there. "No, Nana, we have to have a Nana worm and an Uncle Charles worm!" For some reason we had a hard time finding the required extra worms but at last we did. Success; we're finished, right? Wrong. "Nana, the worms are going to die if they don't have a house of dirt." So we take an empty plant pot, put some large leaves in the bottom, lots of dirt and Colin carefully and lovingly places the worms in their new home.

Now can we plant some of our plant's Colin? "Sure Nana." So in about 1 1/2 hours, we managed to get 5 plants in the ground. His job was to put the fertilizer in the hole. I hope you can't kill plants with too much fertilizer!

By now, he's a bit bored and wants to go play on the neighbor's swing set.

My friend Bonnie

Bonnie is another close friend of mine who I met on the Alzheimer's message board. Those on the board knew her as Mama's Friend. We literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death together as my dear Daddy died Nov. 6, 2006 and her sweet Mama died Dec. 8, 2006. We walked the valley together, keeping close company with Jesus as He comforted and guided us through those painful days.

We finally got to meet April of 2008 in San Antonio, where she lives, and spent a fabulous evening on the Riverwalk. We couldn't stop talking and all of it was centered on the joy our faith brings us no matter what is going on in our lives.

Bonnie grew up in Mexico, with parents who were full-time missionaries. Bob and Beverly Teachout, came to Mexico as newlyweds in 1955. Bonnie says, "Mom used to stand under a mango tree ( the shadiest trees in the tropics) and play "Jesus Loves Me" on an accordian, and many other songs until children gathered. Once she had a crowd, she would tell them who Jesus was with flannel graph stories. She and Daddy would go back again and again- the mothers and children would be waiting in anticipation under the tree the next week! Then Dad would announce a movie after the stories the next week- and the whole family would come. That's how the churches got started. At the end I believe there were 23 with 3-4 missions each. But it was never about counting people. It was about these sweet people finding Christ."

At the age of 17, Bonnie was called to be a missionary but resisted that call in favor of marriage and children but it was always in the background of everything she did. Fast forward to November of 2008. Bonnie was working in the banking industry and at this particular job for over 10 years. She received the news that because of job cuts, she would be "let go." After the shock wore off, she realized she had indeed been "let go" alright, she had been given the freedom to reconsider her calling as a teenager.

So, after much prayer and many discussions with her spiritual mentors, Bonnie leaves the end of May for the mission field in the mountains of Chiapas, Mexico, the southern most state of Mexico- http://www.travelchiapas.com/map/map-2.php. Her passion is in women's ministry but she goes expectantly, knowing God will use her in many ways.

She will be living in an apartment (not to be confused with our version of an apt.) that is bare bones and she is taking only a very few of personal needs, having sold everything else to raise the money for her support in Mexico. She leaves behind her children and grandchildren and as a Nana too, I can't imagine the pain of that separation. Yet she goes obidiently, having no idea what lies ahead but trusting in her Lord who called her and who will equip her and provide for her daily.

Please join me in praying for Bonnie as she starts her new life. And, if you feel so led, she has joined a missions sending organization called Abundant Hope International as the method where people can contribute to her daily living needs. (email: financials@abundanthopeinternational.org)

She'll be sending me updates, which I will post here. Our prayers go with you Bonnie, a good and faithful servant.

My therapy

This is Dylan, age 8.5 months, my joy and my therapy. I get to keep him every Thursday and Friday. Today as I struggled with the heartbreak of a fractured friendship, Dylan's smiles, hugs and dependence was my therapy.

I can't even imagine life without my two grandbabies. They add perspective, total love and devotion, not to mention a wonderful distraction.

Only time will heal this broken relationship.

The Easter Story according to Colin

On the way to church last Sunday morning I asked Colin to tell me the Easter story.

Big sigh, as though "I can't believe she doesn't know this story," and then he tells me.

Well, Nana, there were these bad guys who were mean to Jesus. They put a rope around his head and another one around his feet. They put thorns on his head and they nailed him to a cross and kilt him. Then they put large stones around him.

Oh no, I say.

But Nana!! it's ok cause He's ALIVE!! He's my friend!

Cherry Blossom season

The angels beside the Tidal Basin.

Sara and Colin in the midst of the blossoms.

Dylan

Sunset at the Tidal Basin, with the Jefferson Memorial

in the background.

Me and my new roommate Janice. (More on Janice later but

definitely a Godsequence that we found each other.)

Mother's

Mother holding me at 2 weeks old

It's not Mother's Day yet. It's not even my Mother's birthday. But lately I've been missing my Mother a lot. She died almost 4.5 years ago so why the profound loss as though it was 4.5 minutes ago?

Lots of reasons. One of my goals has been to clear more of the clutter from my house. It was depriving me of much needed space for my #1 priority--my grandson's; it was producing lots of guilt for not having done it; and it was just always hanging over me. So in the process of going through mine and my parent's stuff, I had lots of wonderful memories come flooding back.

Amongst my great finds, stuck in a random book, I found a poem my Mother had written after the death of her Mother. She titled it simply:

Mama

Grief is like a wave
that washes over you.
It strangles and it crushes
and leaves you feeling blue.

You pick yourself up
and struggle on, wondering all the while
will the ache and emptiness you feel
ever be totally gone?

When will the memories be dear ones?
To cherish for as long as you live
When you can think with a smile or a chuckle
for the good things her life still gives.

I'm also missing Mother's support. I desperately need to have a healthier life style and loose weight (more on that in a future post). As I was brainstorming yesterday with a friend, how I was successful in doing this in the past, I realized that my Mother was a huge factor. I was using the Weight Watcher program and every time I weighed in, I would report back to Mother and no matter what the report she praised my efforts. And, everytime she saw me, which was often, she would declare I looked "thinner every time I see you." I lost 40 lbs. in 1999, 25 in time for my 50th birthday and she insisted on taking me out to buy me a new "birthday suit" to show off my successful weight loss.

A dear friend, Imogene, from my church died suddenly last week from a brain aneurism. I visited with her daughter, Jean, for a long time last night at the funeral home. This afternoon is the funeral. Jean and her Mother were very close too so I felt her pain and relived mine.

The same friend I was brain storming about weight loss with yesterday, is remembering her Mother's birthday today, having lost her a year ago. Another friend is finding treasures of her Mother as she clears out her house in the process of moving. Another friend is caring for her Mother, who has Alzheimer's, in her home while having her own health issues. Yet another friend has both parents on Hospice, has her own major health issues, and yet is treasuring each day with them. On and on the list goes.

Our Mother's are God's gift to us. Through them we learn strength in the face of crisis; unconditional love when we make mistakes; and if we're lucky, the joy of a very special friendship. Thank you God for the precious gift of my Mother.

Getting to know Alice

I first got to know my friend Alice on the Alzheimer's message board back in 2005 when we were both caring for a parent with Alzheimer's. We bonded immediately, primarily because we share a strong faith that no matter what is going on in our lives, God is by our side, guiding and directing; supporting us; and sending His earthly angels to care for us.

Secondly we are both cancer survivors from multiple occasions so we spoke the same language. So, in spite of life's challenges and heartaches (both of us having since lost our parents), we knew that our faith would get us through the current crisis.

Alice had to place her dear, sweet Mama in a nursing home when she went through chemo in 2005 and just didn't have the physical strength to care for her. It was during that time that we began to take our relationship a step closer with phone calls and emails. I told her I would set my cell phone alarm to play Amazing Grace at noon, my time, everyday and that I would stop and pray for her at that time. She found great comfort in that knowledge and it brought us even closer together.


Last year, spring of 2008, I decided it was past time for Alice and I to meet in person so I included a day-long visit with her in my trip to Texas. This picture was taken at the Wildseed Farms, where we could enjoy our mutual love of flowers and butterflies! We had a grand day and promised to keep in touch, which we did.

After much arm twisting and insistance, Alice came to visit. I had continued to pray for her daily and by now I had introduced my grandson to the idea that when Nana's phone played that certain song, we would stop whatever we were doing and pray for Alice. Here's a picture Alice took while she was visiting of just such an occassion. We had walked down to the nearby creek and while Colin threw stones in the creek, Alice marveled at the fall colors.

We had a great time during her visit. We did some sightseeing and playing with grandchildren. We enjoyed long talks and she grew to love and be loved by my church family. Here she is in the midst of the Bishop's Garden at the Washington National Cathedral, one of our favorite places.

Now Alice has an uphill fight against cancer again. After consultation at M.D. Anderson, it has been decided that she will begin chemo, again, on Tues., March 24, to try and shrink her numerous tumors. After each round, she will be reevaluated at M.D. Anderson with the anticipation of surgery this summer.

Please join me in praying for Alice, a woman of strong faith, a celebrator of life, a wonderful friend and a very special lady.

Advisory council

A friend of mine recently had a dilemma. Decisions are frequently difficult, especially when you live alone and have no one to brainstorm with. So instead of fretting about it she emailed her "advisory council" as I have nicknamed us. There are 5 of us (including her) from around the country so she knew she could get a variety of suggestions.

She presented the background, the dilemma and asked our advice. Within 24 hrs. she heard from all of us, who, not surprisingly, pretty much gave her the same advice but in different words, and from that she gained much--peace as to her decision; support; and hopefully a little less feeling alone.

But, on her part it took courage to be vulnerable and trust in us to be there for her and accept whatever decision she made.

God did not stop with the creation of Adam. He went on to create Eve and from there we have the human race. Seems pretty clear to me that He intends us to create all sorts of "advisory councils." I know I couldn't function without mine and I'm so glad my friend realized the value of hers.

Snowy day

We did indeed get a beautiful snowfall. To some, it was a very modest snow, but to my TX and CA friends, it was significant.

It snowed all night and a bit today, creating a fairy land all around me. As for me, I stayed safe, sound and warm inside my house, enjoying the magnificence of God's creation and in the peace and quiet of the day.

The Washington, DC area is expecting significant snowfall tonight. That means grocery stores are crowded and hardware stores are full of last minute shovel and salt shoppers.

I on the other hand am looking forward to it. Having grown up in this area, I still remember the excitement of a snow day off from school. They would never make the school closing announcement the night before. I had to set my alarm for 0-dark-thirty and wait in eager anticipation for the list to be read.

But it was worth it when I finally heard "Arlington County public schools will be closed today." Yippee! Turn the radio off, roll over and enjoy some sweet slumber.

I remember one time during high school (that would be mid-60's) that school was cancelled for a whole week. Daddy, the ever prepared and resourceful Marine, never let snow keep him in. He managed to stock up on hot dogs, chips, drinks, marshmallows and lots of other snacks because my basement was the youth HQ. Kids would walk to my house, plop in front of the fireplace, and then plot our next sledding adventure, only to repeat the process only this time we came back to the best smelling hot dogs and hot chocolate and cookies or brownies, courtesy of Mother, I've ever smelled!

So, I look forward to the world (well, at least my part of the world) standing still for a day, while the snow plows do their job. I will sit by the fire and enjoy the beauty of a fresh fallen snow and reminisce. Then I will get my grand kids over here (they live 3 houses away!!!) and cook hot dogs and drink hot chocolate together.

Oh wait! I don't have any hot dogs!! Gotta go join the crazy shoppers to get my hot dogs!

Celebrating Pistol

My brother, Charles Lane, nicknamed "Pistol" by our Daddy when he was a child, turns 56 today. He is a very special "young" man. He was brain-damaged at birth (due to dr. neglect) and suffered spinal meningitis at 12 days old. His mentallity is about a 2 yr. old.

When he was 7, we placed him in the Denton (TX) State School system, and he continues to live under that umbrella but now he is with a foster family. Godsequence alert! Before my Mother was pregnant with him, my Daddy, who was a member of the TX legislature, wrote the legislation that created this wonderful facility.

He's won all kinds of medals through Special Olympics, works part-time for the local Goodwill and adores his family, especially his great-nephews. I bring him home at Christmas, which necessitates me flying to Dallas, renting a car to pick him up in Denton and flying back home with him. I repeat this process when I return him.

One of our activities when he's home is always bowling as he is a Gold Medal winner. Here he is teaching Colin how to bowl. He had his foster Mom order all of us bowling shirts with our name on it.

Colin loves his Uncle Pistol and they entertain each other for hours, enjoying the same movies and television shows.

Pistol was very excited to meet his newest grand-nephew this Christmas, Dylan. They spent lots of time on the floor together, talking their own special language.

He is so loving and friendly. When I visit him in Denton and go places with him, everybody knows Pistol. He always introduces me as his "cookie sister," because I regularly bake chocolate chip cookies and ship them to him. It's Colin's job to add M&M's to the top of each cookie.

We are so grateful for Pistol who brings us unconditional love and joy. Happy Birthday Pistol!

Godsequence

The word Godsequence came to me as a gift from God a few years ago. I use the word a lot and share it as often as possible so I thought this was a good venue to share.

I believe that there are no coincidences, small world experiences or ironies in life. They are all Godsequences.

If you are a believer in God; if you ask Him for guidance and wisdom; if you trust that He will give you guidance and wisdom; if you are open to Him; then what others think of as a "coincidence," is actually a direct result of God working in your life--thus, a Godsequence.

And, the great thing about this word, is the more you use it, the more you will experience Godsequences. I believe using the word is a form of worship; a thanksgiving or praise. And God loves to be thanked so He bestows more and more Godsequences in your life.

Here's just a couple of illustrations in my life. On my last flight I was reading a book on Jerusalem as I was considering making a trip to the Holy Lands. At the time the news was full of the coverage of the violence and unrest in Gaza. Among my considerations for the trip was my safety. My seatmate travels a lot in his business and was going to Jerusalem the next month and offered to email me with his experience. My seatmate was a Godsequence.

In 2007 I started planning a trip to Ireland and started researching renting a house over there. At the same time I got to know someone (we took our grandchildren to a music class) who had a cousin who not only was from and lived in Ireland but worked for....the Irish Tourism Board. She found me the perfect house. A Godsequence!

I could go on and on with small and large examples but I'd rather you try it! I promise, the more you use the word, the more you will experience Godsequences.